Are you and your potential partner financially matched? Do your views and value systems about money match?
A good example to illustrate this point is the story about Carl and Celine. Carl and Celine appeared from the outside to be the perfect couple; he adored her and she doted over him. They seemed to have everything in perfect equilibrium until it came to how Celine spent her money. Carl placed no value on fashion, holidays or leisure. He felt they were a "frivolous waste" whilst Celine felt it was her prerogative how she spent her hard earned cash on things that "made her happy" and added value to her mental health.
For Celine, holidays were not a frivolity; but a means to reset and rewire. New shoes were not a waste of money but something that made her feel beautiful. Carl, didn't agree. He was more pragmatic and frugal. He expected a rainy day and dutifully planned for such a day with diligent frugality.
Over time Celine began to despise Carl's frugality and viewed it as stinginess, while Carl became more and more irate and insultive whenever Celine came home with a shopping bag!
Needless to say, their attitudes towards finances presented many disagreements and conflicts within their relationship. Ultimately, their financial incompatibility broke their relationship up.
How we feel about the acquisition and utilisation of finances matters. Our outlook about finances heavily depends on how we were brought up. A person who was brought up in abundance or whose parents' didn't bring them up with a scarcity mentality, often grows up to be more relaxed when it comes to spending money. Someone who has tasted the unpleasantness of lack or has been exposed to the negative effects of financial lack can grow up being very frugal even if their reality has now changed and they in fact have an abundance of finances.
That's why it's so important to explore ones financial compatibility before marriage. Does your world view match? Does your frugality or spending habits match? Does what matter to you, matter to them?
On the other end of the spectrum, you may have a partner that is irresponsible with money and has no problem buying an expensive car whilst neglecting to pay their rent! This, again gives a glimpse into that person's value system. If it doesn't match with yours; it will pose a massive problem in marriage.
I can't say it enough, compatibility is the true key to marital success, with communication a close second.
