How To Approach A Confident Woman
Updated: May 11
One day a good friend of my husband and I came over for a visit and with a broad frown on his face, he plonked himself into the chair and blurted out:
"How do I approach a confident woman? I'm definitely doing something wrong!"
My husband, hastily answered him with a slurry of one liners: walk tall, be confident, dress well, open your wallet, .....
I remained silent while I pondered the question and listened curiously to my husband's advice. At that point, they both fixed their gaze upon me and said: "So? What do you think? Yo are a confident woman; what would have put you off a potential date?
For me, the question was quite puzzling. You do not approach a confident woman for the sake of her confidence. You approach a woman because there is something about her that attracts you specifically to her. One must be specific and focus on what exactly it is that is attractive to to you about her.
Is it her assertive manner, ease at making conversation or good command of speech and ideas? What are the characteristics of her behaviour that sparked your interest and made you sit up and take notice? These attributes should be the focus of your conversation when you talk to her.
I hated it when guys would start a chat up line with innuendos like:
"You look snobbish, I bet you are a snub" or "Girls like you need a really confident guy that can handle you!"
All such statements are generic, judgemental and off-putting. It actually exposes your insecurities in a non-flattering way that is completely counterproductive to what you hoped to have achieved.
So how then do you approach a confident woman?
My tip, is to home-in on some of the attributes you like that are suggestive of her confidence.
For example, at university I really liked to go clubbing and loved to dance even if I was the only person on the dance floor. This act intimated many of the guys. I knew they wanted to approach me but they were not brazen enough to do so on an empty dance floor. But, there was one guy that trailed my every dance move with his eyes and eventually joined me on the dancefloor and whispered: "Finally, someone who actually came to dance and not just gawk all night!" My interest was immediately sparked. Needless to say, we danced and talked for the entire night from the simplicity of that well timed "chat-up line" lol!
The bottom line is this; don't approach a "confident" woman just because you esteem her confidence. Approach her because there is something about her confidence that truly resonates with you. Once you have found that fleeting point of interest, dive in with an apt statement.
This is a much more intriguing way, rather than a generic "Hi, how does a guy get a girl like you!" Such statements scream desperation at best and inferiority complex at worst.
So, be cool, observe from afar, find out what it is about her that resonates with you, then home in on that with an apt conversation starter!