I have been blessed with really great friends and on the journey to finding "Mr. Right" I often looked at the relationships of my girlfriends as some sort of yard stick. Most seemed really happy, but some appeared to endure love rather than enjoy it. Why?
I found that some of their expressions of love was tainted in pain. Whether it was the pain of infidelity, or the absence of affection or even the breakdown of communication....pain was sadly, an ever present guest. Is that what is to be expected and accepted in love?
Like all good things in life, Love has its highs and lows, but on the whole, there ought to be a healthy and happy median. So when does that median become compromised? What should true love look like? what is unacceptable in love?
For me, in order to answer this question, I needed to understand what love Is and Isn't....
Love is patient, love is kind, love protects, love doesn't keep records of love, love is not self-seeking nor boastful, love is not proud, love is not easily offended. There is nowhere in the definition of the purest form of love that suggests that love should hurt. So why do many accept it?
I have come to the conclusion that not enough time is spent understanding love and our very active role in it. By definition, love should protect, edify and build-up. If the love we seek is doused in pain and hurt, we must reconsider when and why the sweetness of love went sour. We must reacquaint ourselves with the true essence of love and humbly accept our part in making love work.
My all consuming passion, is to walk deliberately in love in every relationship of my life. To do that, I must be proactive about it. I must be conscious of the many temptations to elevate self above love. Love, in its purest state, ought to be enjoyed and not endured. Love shouldn't hurt.